Running Forever
by Ellie the Jinx
Summary: Both kept running, now Kaiba may be too late to save Jonouchi. Yaoi warning! SetoJou pairing with minor AnzuYugi.


Running Forever  
  
By Rabe Both kept running, now Kaiba may be too late to save Jonouchi.  
  
A/N: This is mostly in Kaiba's POV, though it switches to Jonouchi's at the end.  
  
Rating: R for sexual images (slash/yaoi) & minor BDSM, language and suicidal/self mutilation themes.  
  
Pairings: Mainly Kaiba/Jou, there's mention of Yugi/Anzu but it's not BIG.  
  
Disclaimer: Jonouchi, Kaiba and the others in YGO aren't mine. Neither is "Vincent" by Don McLean. You really need to hear it by Josh Groban while reading this fic. And if you ever have time, do look for the paintings "Starry Night" by Van Gogh and "Vampyre II" by Edvard Munch, they look so cool next to each other.  
  
*Running Forever*  
  
Starry, starry night  
  
Paint your palette blue and grey  
  
Look out on a summer's day  
  
With eyes that know the darkness in my soul.  
  
Innocence, integrity, words taken too lightly. Happiness, joy, feelings that are never recognized as just being there. What about love? Is love too far away? I decided to really tell Jonouchi how I felt. I just had to. It wasn't just sex now; it was so much more.  
  
The office was filled with the sunset light. Orange, scarlet and golden colors scattered through the dreary room. One thing wasn't as dreary. Jonouchi saw it first when he suggested going to the flea market one day. It was a framed copy of Vincent Van Gogh's "Starry Night." It was one of my favorite art pieces. I'd also found "Vampyre II" it was a dreary picture, but I still liked it. The female bent over the male, supposedly sucking his blood, next to an apt painting of the night sky.  
  
I moved over to my large cherry wood desk and opened up the drawer to my left. Underneath a few papers was a picture. It was of Jonouchi, my little Puppy. It was now a bit of a joke; I still called him "puppy" and "mutt" once in a while. Most of the time this was only when we were "fighting" over who was the seme and who was the uke.  
  
The picture in my hands was taken after one of our bondage sessions, after he had fallen asleep. It was only from the side of his perfect hips up. I didn't need a picture of the rest of him; I knew the rest well. His eyes were closed and full of dream. His hair tousled from wild sex, you could almost see the gleam from sweat on his chiseled torso. One of the black scarves we'd used lay next to him, a forever reminder of what we'd done that night.  
  
Now I understand  
  
What you tried to say to me  
  
And how you suffered for your sanity  
  
And how you tried to set them free.  
  
He reminded me so much of how life should be lived. Not just to be better than everyone, not just to be the best. Life was to be lived on the moment. My Puppy said "Carpe Noctem" rather than "Carpe Diem." More sensuous and enchanting things happened at night.  
  
"Quit distracting yourself," I said aloud. Perhaps I just needed to do it. I was going to drive to our apartment, sweep him off his feet, and then fuck him senseless.  
  
"I love Jonouchi Katsuya." I spoke again to no one but my reflection in the huge office window. "I love Jonouchi." My reflection seemed to talk back to me.  
  
"No shit, Sherlock." My eyes narrowed and looked back at me with sarcasm. I gave a smile to the second handsomest guy I knew. I grabbed my long black coat and proceeded to my Puppy.  
  
I drove to Crescent Avenue. It was a short street marked by apartments. After about a week of senseless fucking, I moved Jou into the Crescent apartment complex. We both agreed that he was to live here even if things ended badly. I had more conscience than people thought; I would never let someone return to abuse and poverty at my will.  
  
They would not listen  
  
They did not know how  
  
Perhaps they'll listen now.  
  
Leaving my Camero, I walked passed a few buildings until building D came into view in the starlight. Giddily I practically hopped up the stairs to apartment nine. The keys jingled a bit as I inserted then opened the door.  
  
"Mutt?" I hoped I sounded playful and not rude. Tonight wasn't going to be rough. Carnal beastly desires had dissipated, replaced by the wanton fire of romance.  
  
No answer came. He wasn't working; perhaps he was just at the Kame Game shop, or over at Anzu's. No worry, though the silence about the apartment kept anxiety from ebbing away. It was too quiet. The smell of a TV dinner wasn't present, nor delivered pizza. Jonouchi hated driving, so he wouldn't have gone for a drive. Maybe a walk? It just didn't make sense. Plans weren't often made because Saturday nights we usually spent the evenings doing the nasty. It was just official.  
  
I quickly checked the bedroom. The soft linen sheets were sky blue and freshly made. He hadn't come home. Yes, my Pup hardly ever took any initiative to clean up or anything, but the apartment had been abnormally clean. The baby blue cordless phone that stood on the nightstand leaped out at me. I'll just call Yugi. The number to the Kame Game shop was programmed into the speed dial, I pressed one and the dial tone hummed.  
  
"Kame Games may I help you?" Mr. Muto's deep and friendly voice met my numbing brain.  
  
"Uh, yes Mr. Muto can I talk to Yugi?"  
  
"Sure Kaiba, just hold on a second.Yugi." Mr. Muto's call was muffled a bit, then the innocent voice of Yugi Muto echoed through the line.  
  
"Who is it?" I rolled my eyes and growled into the receiver.  
  
"Seto Kaiba."  
  
"Oh, hello Kaiba. What's up?" Yugi's voice scared me for a bit. My mind had wondered for a moment there.  
  
"Uh, nothing, is Jonouchi there?" I glanced at my watch. Red numbers reflected nine o' nine.  
  
"No, he left here over three hours ago. Why are you at your guys' place?" "Your guys' place" came out a little too casual, even for the polite Yugi.  
  
"That's why I'm calling. He's not here and I was just curious if he was over there."  
  
"Nope. Maybe he stopped at Anzu's?" Yugi offered a little nervously.  
  
"I'll call over there then. Good-bye." Before Yugi could reply I hung up. I knew my Pup wasn't at Anzu's.  
  
For they could not love you  
  
But still your love was true  
  
And when no hope was left inside  
  
On that starry, starry night  
  
You took your life as lovers often do  
  
But I could have told you Vincent  
  
This world was never meant for one as beautiful as you  
  
I didn't look in the mirror till that minute when I'd hung up the phone. A bloody, pale hand was hanging out of the white tub. I ran into the bathroom. Red water covered Jonouchi's body. His skin was so pale, white like Mother's body had been at the funeral.  
  
"Jonouchi!"  
  
My fingers fled to his neck. Pressing two where his pulse should be. It was a very faint heartbeat. I dipped my hands under his armpits and lifted. His limp lead form was hard to move at first, then the water seemed to lift his body up into my arms.  
  
He started to shiver in my arms. Naked, his skin was so cold to the touch. "Fuck, Jou don't quit on me, not now." Tears made my vision blurry.  
  
"Seto." I knew I heard his voice but it was so low.  
  
I squatted then sat on the floor. My coat was wet at the arms but it would provide the necessary warmth. Savagely I pulled the towel drawer from the sink stand and applied makeshift tourniquets to his wrists. He was so bloody. With all the strength I had I pulled him into my arms and rushed out the door.  
  
I couldn't drive fast enough. What if I didn't get there? Damnit Jonouchi.  
  
"Fuck this Yugi, pick up the damned phone." I tried Anzu's number. She answered, I screamed something at her. She mumbled a few curses and said she was on her way to the hospital.  
  
Two hours later and after three blood transfusions Jonouchi was sleeping soundly and full of new blood. Both Yugi and Anzu had rushed to the hospital. They were trying unsuccessfully to reach Honda. Walking forward after talking with Yugi, Anzu handed me a Styrofoam cup of black coffee.  
  
"Thanks." I croaked. The sleeves of my white shirt were still stained red; I hadn't changed. I resolved I would burn this shirt.  
  
Yugi sighed and sat down on the chair opposite mine.  
  
"We managed to talk to Honda's mother. She woke Honda he wanted to come but she said in the morning."  
  
His right sleeve was still rolled up and a bandage marked the life he had given to Jonouchi. I was the wrong blood type so I couldn't have saved him, but I still did.  
  
"Kaiba, are you okay?" Yugi touched my shaking hand; I jumped at the touch nearly spilling coffee down my bloody shirt.  
  
"No." I turned to see a pair of children playing Duel Monsters in a corner. The girl was kicking the boy's ass apparently.  
  
Anzu started crying and Yugi put his arms around her in comfort. He kissed her cheek as her sobs got worse.  
  
"I'm.sor...orry. Oh.Kai...bbba I sh.shouldn't.cry.I mean." She didn't stop she just kept sobbing. Occasionally she could manage to mumble "was it us?" or "there were signs." and there was a few "why did he do this?" Trying to calm her with kisses and gentle embraces, Yugi looked about ready to give up.  
  
A nurse in pink scrubs walked up to our group, her dark face forcing a smile. "He's sleeping nicely. You can all go home and then come back in the morning."  
  
"I'm staying." I said automatically. Yugi and Anzu had said "okay" but there was no way I was leaving Jonouchi after what happened tonight.  
  
"Mr. Kaiba, understand he needs rest." The nurse's smile was fading fast.  
  
"I won't leave." I was standing like the colossus over the smaller nurse.  
  
"Kaiba won't give you any trouble. We'll just leave." Yugi pulled at my sleeve; I tried to rip the blood stained fabric from his fist.  
  
"I'm not leaving Jonouchi. I delayed everything. It's my fault if he'd know maybe?" The nurse's expression was blank for a moment then her eyes went wide.  
  
"Oh! You mean.you and Mr. Kat.I mean was it a lover's quarrel or.not that I'm implying."  
  
Through gritted teeth I managed to speak without hitting something or someone. "Yes, Jonouchi and I are together. Call it whatever you want. I'm not leaving and you won't make me." An idea struck my mind; I still had to bit my tongue before I could speak again. "The Kaiba Corporation is willing to make a generous donation to bend rules and shift certain technicalities."  
  
"Um, that won't be.though I'm sure the hospital will bend the rules just talk with Doctor."  
  
Like the strangers that you've met  
  
The ragged men in ragged clothes  
  
The silver thorn of bloody rose  
  
Lie crushed and broken on the virgin snow.  
  
*Jou's POV*  
  
Head splitting pain, dizziness, you name it. I was sick, and my ass was hanging out of my dress. What the hell? Why was I wearing a dress and one with the back open? I tried to move my hand to investigate but it was hard, not to mention a little painful, to move my wrists. Oh yeah.  
  
I remembered the hot bath. I'd read somewhere that blood doesn't clot in water. That's why I was in the tub. Fuck.Seto and I.in a place with so many painful memories, I was sure stupid.  
  
I did remember the blade of the knife biting my skin and it didn't hurt. I'd been a cutter long before Kaiba and I started our.no sense in calling it a relationship. Fuck buddies mostly, friends with benefits basically. I'd stopped for a while, Seto had made me a little happy, but it didn't last. I'd gone back to relieving the pain through cutting. It was mostly on my thighs and wasn't visible. Seto never notice either, he was a bit stupid sometimes.  
  
Cutting my wrists had been more painful than I'd expected. Then the pain just stung as I let my arms hang in the water, letting the memories fade. I'd taken a little too much aspirin the day before, but I'd just puked the whole night. Blood had been the way to go, and in its way it was more peaceful. Better in a warm bath than over the cold toilet.  
  
The sun started to pierce through my eyes and I opened them. The sun was bright, so different; it was so much warmer. Why? For the last few weeks the sun only brought cold. Cold, being away from Seto during the day. Cold that the night's fucking hadn't lasted. Speaking of Seto, a familiar head of chocolate locks was near my hand.  
  
Seto's eyes were closed but he was dreaming. His eyelids flickered, REM. At least psychology class was good for useless facts. I wanted to see his warm blue eyes. Even though he didn't love me, I loved the way his eyes gleamed when he was happy. Trying to use my numb fingers, I wanted to touch his hair. It was untamed after he slept or been fucked real good, not right now though it was still styled neatly. Even the smell of his expensive cologne lingered in the air.  
  
Either my stirrings woke him, or his dream finally did, he opened his beautiful cerulean eyes.  
  
"Jonouchi!" I didn't see it coming, he touched my cheek and kissed me lightly.  
  
His lips tasted like black coffee. I hated straight coffee, but on him it tasted so good. He lingered for a moment before moving to slip his tongue in lightly. I loved the way he could make a kiss last so long and dream filled. But embarrassment hit me and I pulled back.  
  
For the first time ever, his eyes filled with tears.  
  
"Jonouchi don't ever do that again. You hear.Pup?" He leaned in again and kissed me again. "Don't scare me again."  
  
"Why do you care? I'm just a good lay. Like I really matter." I turned away. The truth stung inside me.  
  
"Damn you, why would you think that?" Kaiba was mad. I was too; I had a right to be.  
  
"If I'm just a good lay, why not let the fuckin' devil have me too. I'd see you soon anyways." I didn't look at him. I just closed my eyes and pretended to sleep.  
  
Kaiba moved his hand under the thin hospital blanket. Along my thigh, it wasn't meant to make me hard, but my cock wouldn't listen to my brain.  
  
"When did you start cutting again?"  
  
"After Shizuka had to leave with our mother." That was about a month ago.  
  
"Damnit Jonouchi, we both agreed to stop. There was no reason to." Seto pulled the sleeve of his blue shirt up. Thin, snaky scars marked his arm. He had done long odd cuts not really deep, but they'd caused scars. Mine were small and deep, more frequent on my arm cause I'd done more at a time.  
  
"When did we have a pact or somethin'? It's not like were in love or anything." I spat, make sure every word pierced his heart, or lack there of.  
  
Seto didn't speak for a moment. I didn't make any moves as he cupped my cheek in his hand. I didn't kiss him back, but he proceeded to kiss my face and neck. He stopped near my right ear. He was crying again, I felt his hot tears on my neck.  
  
"I love you, Jonouchi." He kissed beneath my ear. "I would give everything I am to you." His lips touched the pulse in my neck. "You own my heart, my body, spirit and my mind. I am yours. I wish I'd have told you earlier. You didn't need to suffer because of my stubbornness."  
  
That's when I responded. I placed my hand near his heart. "I love you Seto Kaiba. You own me too."  
  
"We belong together. Don't you see?" Kaiba moved down into his chair. He smiled. He took my hand in his. "Don't do this again. Or hell's gonna be hell for you." I laughed a bit or I would have cried.  
  
Now I think I know  
  
What you tried to say to me  
  
And how you suffered for your sanity  
  
And how you tried to set them free. They would not listen  
  
They're not listening still  
  
Perhaps they never will...  
  
Seto was tight. He moaned after each of my trusts. I'd never taken him before. I reached between us and took his cock in my hands; he shuddered but never said a word. I worked my trusts slowly and hard or soft and fast, just as my hand smoothed over his smooth length.  
  
"Jou!" His deep voice echoing in the room. I felt his orgasm moments after mine. I carefully pulled away and checked for bleeding. He wasn't, I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.  
  
"Mmm, Pup." I laid my head down on his chest. "I love therapy, don't you?"  
  
"I love you, Seto. Now shut up, lemme catch my breath before we start again."  
  
I felt his smile. I loved Seto Kaiba, I knew for a fact he loved me. C'est la vie.  
  
Ellie~ Oct 18, 2003 


End file.
